A Night Alone
by Wishful Dreamer
Summary: James x Sirius SLASH! Sirius is resigned to spending Christmas alone, but he receives a very special visitor. COMPLETED.


**TITLE: **A Night Alone  
**PAIRING:** James/Sirius, Remus/Snape, Harry/Draco, mention of past James/Lily  
**RATING: **PG-13**  
SUMMARY:** Sirius is resigned to spending Christmas alone, but he receives a very special visitor.  
**WARNINGS:** Resurrection. Reformed Lucius Malfoy. A few swear words.  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
**NOTES: **A reply to the December 14 drabble challenge of the SiriusXJames group.

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**A Night Alone**

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Sirius said firmly, tying Harry's scarf tightly around his neck and pushing him through the door. "Now go."

"But I didn't know Remus wouldn't be back --"

"Harry! Go!"

With another uncertain look over his shoulder, Harry walked slowly to the edge of the no-Apparition zone. There he hesitated again. "I don't have to spend the night, you know. He'll understand. This was supposed to be a family holiday, and look, we're leaving you here by yourself."

"I'm locking this door now, Harry," Sirius said in exasperation. "Then I'm going to bed. If you come back before a decent hour of morning, be prepared to climb in through a window."

Harry opened his mouth to protest, but Sirius kept his word and shut the door.

He waited until he heard the distinct *pop* that meant Harry had gone. He sighed heavily, trudging back to the sitting room.

It wasn't right for anyone to feel tied to the house just because he was. Grimmauld Place was no place to spend a cheerful holiday. He couldn't wait to sell it and be done with it for good.

Another week. Sirius kicked a crumpled ball of wrapping paper across the floor, then threw himself into an armchair by the fire. Why did the Ministry move so slowly...!

After a few minutes, he drew himself up.

It didn't do any good to dwell on things he couldn't change. He had to focus on the positive. In another week, he would have a full pardon; not just a hastily signed, slightly tattered scrap of parchment. Then he and Harry and Remus could spend the rest of Harry's Christmas holidays anywhere they damn well pleased.

All he had to do was to get through the week.

He glanced around the room and shivered involuntarily. Despite the bright decorations, the room was still gloomy. Even the thousands of tiny, twinkling lights did nothing to chase away the shadows in every corner. The tree, decorated from top to bottom with Harry's hand-made red foil stars, was the only cheerful thing in the room, but even so, Harry's innocent insistence on using ornaments he found in a box in the attic ruined the effect.

He rose and walked slowly around it, pausing to examine some of the ornaments. They were of impressive quality, he had to admit. Some of them he had all but forgotten about, like the delicate crystal fairies with diamond wings, which had been Lucius Malfoy's gift to Narcissa, and had somehow remained with the rest of the Black family's Christmas decorations.

Frowning, he reached out to touch an origami horse. The faded paper toy looked completely out of place, and for a moment he couldn't understand what it was doing there.

Then he remembered, and a sad smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

James used to do origami. This must have been meant to be a stag, and Harry must have found it among Sirius' old school things.

Carefully unhooking the loop of thread from the tree branch, Sirius took the ornament with him and returned to his seat.

James.

The one person he didn't want to think about while alone in the gloomy house.

He shivered again and leaned down to pick up another log and throw it into the fire, despite knowing it wouldn't help.

He wished they hadn't had to move the couch to the basement to make room for the tree. There was no way he was going upstairs to sleep -- it was bad enough to have to spend the night alone in the house.

No, he wasn't sorry he had told Remus and Harry to go. They both deserved to spend some time away from the house. He well remembered the two Christmases he had spent with James, and --

No. He wouldn't start thinking about that.

If he did, he might start imagining Harry snogging the Malfoy brat under the mistletoe, or Remus and Snape on the lion pelt in front of Snape's fireplace --

Sirius groaned and dropped his head into his hands, willing the images away.

He wasn't going to ruin Christmas for the two people he loved. They shouldn't feel like they had to stay with him. If he had someone, wouldn't he want to spend some time with that person over the holidays? How could he grudge them one night, after all they had done? If it hadn't been for them, staying at Grimmauld Place again would have --

Startled by a knock on the door, Sirius looked up, instantly alert, drawing his wand automatically.

The knock repeated, slightly louder, and Sirius made his way slowly to the door, keeping close to the walls to avoid being seen through one of the windows.

He wasn't afraid. The likelihood of someone attacking Grimmauld Place was low, since the Order had moved its headquarters to Hogwarts the previous year. And even if someone was unaware of that fact, they would certainly not bother knocking to announce their arrival. Still, there was the possibility of someone coming in search of him. Someone who insisted on being blind and deaf as far as everything that had come out at Sirius' hearing was concerned.

There were many of those, unfortunately. They were the reason he was still trapped at Grimmauld Place.

Now in front of the door, he peered carefully through the eyehole.

Damn, he thought as he saw a mop of unruly black hair, easily recognizable in the bright light of the glow-orbs Mad-Eye Moody had insisted on putting up all over the yard. Harry just couldn't take good advice, could he?

He threw open the door, ready to give the silly boy a good tongue lashing.

Instead, he staggered back, too shocked even to raise his wand.

In the doorway stood, not Harry, but James.

James Potter.

A very good approximation.

Sirius had raised his wand, a hex on his lips, almost before he had time to take in the fact that the man was unarmed.

He paused, still ready to strike if the man made any threatening move. "Who the hell are you?"

"Sirius, it's me --"

"I asked you a question!"

"It's James. James Potter. Your --"

"You're not James Potter! James Potter is dead!"

The man flinched, falling back a step. Sirius reached out, grabbing him by the lapels of his shabby coat, and pulled him inside, slamming him into the wall. He kicked the door closed and warded it.

"I'm asking you one more time. Who in bloody hell are you?"

"James. Potter."

Sirius yanked the man's sleeve up to his elbow. "Not a Death Eater? Or does Polyjuice conceal that, too?"

"Sirius, I --"

"Shut up!"

After long, tense moment, Sirius relaxed his grip slightly. "You stay right there. Move and I'll kill you on the spot."

He circled around the man slowly and squinted at a piece of parchment nailed to the wall. This was a map much like the one the Marauders had made of Hogwarts. No spell or potion could fool it.

There were two dots.

SIRIUS BLACK. JAMES POTTER.

Sirius pursed his lips. It could be some new concealment charm. "You claim to be James Potter?"

"Yes. Sirius --"

"James Potter is dead!"

"So you've told me! I just know I'm not!"

"Give me your wand."

The man reached slowly into his coat and pulled out a wand. The handle was burned.

"Anyone could have found this. It was never recovered," Sirius said dismissively. He pocketed the wand.

"What can I do to convince you?"

"Nothing. This is some sick joke. This is..." He glared at the man. "Go ahead. Tell me something only James Potter would know."

The man frowned. "Tell me what you want to know."

"What is your Animagus form?"

"A stag."

"When you went to Hogwarts you had four friends who were also Animagi, including myself. What names did we use for each other?"

"I had only two Animagi friends. You -- you were Padfoot, and Peter. We called him Wormtail."

"And who was Moony?"

"Remus Lupin. A werewolf, not an Animagus."

"On what occasion did you kiss Lily in the Astronomy Tower in your sixth year?"

The man looked at him steadily. "I never kissed Lily in my sixth year. I kissed you. It was our last night at Hogwarts before the summer holidays."

Sirius considered for a moment, but he was unsatisfied. "You made two magical items with your friends. What were they?"

"A map of Hogwarts and mirrors to communicate with each other in detention."

Sirius glanced around the room, searching for any item that might have special meaning only he and the real James would know. All the while he couldn't believe he was even considering the possibility...

His eyes fell on the origami stag.

"_Accio!_"

The paper ornament flew to his hand.

"What's this?" he demanded, holding it up.

The man startled. "Sirius, open it!"

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"Unfold it! It's the only one I ever made -- I couldn't make it look much like a stag -- and there's writing on the paper. Our names. Our initials."

Awkwardly with one hand, and never taking his eyes off the man, Sirius began to unfold the paper. Some of the creases tore, but finally he held a tattered but intact square of parchment. He looked down.

JP & SB

The faded ink and faded paper had almost obliterated the letters, but not quite. Sirius swallowed and shut his eyes for a long moment before looking up.

"James."

James' shoulders rose and fell in a half-shrug. "Been a while, eh? I didn't realize how long, until I saw you."

Sirius cleared his throat and pocketed his wand. "Seventeen years, just about."

James shook his head slowly and looked away, biting his lower lip.

Sirius peered closer at him. "You... uh... don't look a day older than I last saw you, James."

James shrugged again, and sat down on the edge of a chair, looking drained and pale.

"You want to... tell me what happened?" Sirius pressed. "You just show up, like..." He gestured helplessly, unable to find words. His own legs felt weak, and he took a seat in the armchair opposite from James.

"I... don't know." James frowned, then shook his head. "I don't know, Sirius. I went to Hogwarts. There wasn't anyone there. The place is a wreck." He looked up, looking lost and confused. "What happened there, Sirius?"

"It's... complicated. Hogwarts is still under repairs. There wouldn't be anyone there now, except maybe the workers, and I suppose they'd have taken this week off too."

"Albus?"

Sirius squirmed uncomfortably.

"Dead?"

"Yes," Sirius said, deciding to leave it at that for the time being.

"And..." James strained on the edge of his seat, looking imploringly at Sirius. "Lily? Harry? Remus and Peter?"

Sirius flinched. He had been the bearer of bad news often enough, but this?

His silence was long enough to cause James' eyes to widen impossibly, the horror and shock so plain on his face that Sirius snapped out of his dumbness.

"Harry and Remus are alive and well, James."

A broken gasp of relief broke from James' throat, and he fell back in his chair, his hands over his eyes.

Sirius waited, knowing what was to come.

James lowered his hands, and their eyes met. "And Lily? Peter?"

"She died the same day you did. Peter..." Sirius looked away, unable to look at James anymore. "Peter was the traitor, James."

There was silence. When he finally gathered up enough to courage to turn back, he found James leaning back in the chair, his jaw set as though he were gritting his teeth, but a determined look on his face.

"I need you to tell me... everything."

Sirius swallowed convulsively even as he nodded. Where did one begin when there were sixteen long, painful years to talk about?

"Just... begin anywhere," James said. His eyes were closed, and his arms wrapped tightly around himself. "I don't care. Just give me something."

"All right," Sirius said, taking a deep breath. Unable to remain seated, he rose and began pacing in front of the fireplace. "All right." He suddenly stopped and looked at James, looking so young and so frail slumped in the chair, the snow on his robes and hair melting into rivers of water. "Gods, this is going to hurt, James."

Without opening his eyes, James nodded. "I can take it. Please."

"The nigh--" Sirius voice broke, and he had to start again. "The night Voldemort found you, you dueled with him. Lily ran upstairs to protect Harry. He went after her --" Sirius had to clear his throat again. "He killed her. Harry survived, and Voldemort was banished, drained of power."

He looked at James, but there was no indication that James had even heard him.

"Everyone... everyone thought I was the traitor. Peter faked his own death. I was imprisoned. Harry was sent to live with those awful Muggles --" Sirius stopped, aware that he had gone too fast. "Lily's sister, Petunia. You must remember her."

A short nod from James.

"Voldemort began his return to power at the end of Harry's fourth year at Hogwarts. The war broke out a year later. The last of the fighting ended just a few months ago. Dumbledore --" Sirius stopped again, shaking his head. "James, I don't know if you want to hear this."

"Tell me."

"Dumbledore was possessed. Voldemort abandoned his body and used Dumbledore's, thinking he would be safer. Harry --"

James' eyes opened when the silence had stretched to a minute. "Harry what?"

"Harry had to kill him."

James' eyes shut again.

Sirius released the breath he had been holding. "That's it. I don't know what else to tell you."

"Tell me who's dead."

"Peter is, and Voldemort. Hagrid. McGonagall. Arthur, Molly, and Bill Weasley. The Longbottoms. God -- James I can't begin to name everyone."

James opened his eyes and looked at him. "I understand. That's enough."

"It's your turn," Sirius said, leaning forward. "What happened, James? How can you be --" He shook his head. "Alive? Here? Not knowing you were dead?"

"I remember... being hit with a curse. It was like I was two people instead of one. I watched myself die, but I was still in my body, as well. There was a second curse... I don't remember anything after that. I was aware of time passing, but nothing of the outside world."

Sirius shook his head confusedly. "We assumed he killed you the same way he killed Lily, and the way he tried to kill Harry. Your body was never recovered. The house collapsed, and the lower level was obliterated. Dumbledore performed a recall of all spells used there that night. Avada Kedavra had been cast three times."

James smiled weakly. "I tried to use it. Didn't even give him a nosebleed."

"You died a hero, James. You protected your family to the last. There wasn't anything more you could have done."

James didn't answer, and Sirius hastened to change the subject. "What happened next? What do you remember?"

"I woke up. I was in a field. I was cold. There were dark magic objects on the ground. Magic crackling all around me."

"Outside Hogsmeade?"

"Was that Hogsmeade? I thought it might be."

Sirius remembered that little had remained of the village after the battle except the charred shells of buildings. "Yeah. That was Hogsmeade."

"I walked to Hogwarts. At least that was still standing. When I didn't find anyone there I went to Godric's Hollow. Found a paved lot with a Muggle petrol station."

Sirius nodded sadly. "I'm sorry. The Ministry took the property."

"I came here. Didn't know where else to go. I would have gone to the Ministry building next, I suppose."

"You would have found that empty, too. All the London offices have been closed. Even Diagon Alley is closed until the security taskforce finishes their sweep for any dark items. The goblins abandoned Gringotts." He smirked. "Took most of the gold with them."

James was silent. He was looking around the room, his eyes lingering on the tree and presents.

"Harry and Remus are staying here with me," Sirius said, sighing a little with relief that the worst of the facts had been told. "Tomorrow's Christmas."

James turned to look at him, a desperate longing in his eyes. "Harry is here?"

"Not tonight. He's... well..."

"What?"

Sirius rubbed his forehead, not sure how he should break the news. "Off at a love interest's house."

James frowned. "The way you say that, I guess a male?"

Sirius nodded.

"Someone from school?"

"Yes."

James seemed to accept that. "And Remus?"

Sirius couldn't keep back a cringe. "Same."

James studied him. "The two of you...?"

"No, never," Sirius said quickly.

"But he found someone. That's great."

Sirius coughed.

"Who is it, Sirius?" James asked, frowning.

"Snape."

A suitably shocked expression met this announcement, but after a few moments James shook his head. "I guess a lot of things have changed."

"Not Snape," Sirius said dryly.

There was a silence, and Sirius found James studying him again.

"What is it?" he finally asked.

"Is there..." James faltered, looking down at the carpet. "Is there someone in your life now?"

Something tightened painfully in Sirius' chest. "There isn't."

James kept looking at him with an odd expression, a crease gathering on his brow.

"What is it, James?"

"You're different." He stretched out one hand to touch Sirius' face. "Things are different."

Sirius sniffed. "I spent twelve years in Azkaban. You were dead for sixteen. Different. Yeah."

"Twelve... God."

"Kept thinking," Sirius continued, "all the time I was there, how many things could have been different. We should have been together, James. It was a bad time, true enough, but we both let other people dictate how we should live."

"You mean I did. You left your family without a second thought to be with me. I couldn't live without Mum's cooking and Father's pocketbook. I caved. I did what was easy."

"You loved Lily. Maybe I'd've made the same choice, if the option had been there." Sirius shook his head and rose. Returning to the fireplace, he tossed in another log and poked at the coals until the fire rekindled, keeping his back to James.

"I wouldn't make that choice again."

"What?" Sirius turned around, not sure if James had said what he thought.

"If I had to do it again. I wouldn't make the same choice. I knew I made the wrong one, but then there was a baby coming. I couldn't --"

"Of course not," Sirius interrupted. "You did the responsible thing. I never blamed you."

Another long, uncomfortable silence descended, and Sirius turned back to the fire.

The clock struck in the other room.

Sirius whirled around. "That can't be the time."

"Five?" James said, counting the chimes. "No, six."

Sirius swallowed convulsively, panic setting in. "Remus and Harry are going to be back. What are we going to tell them?"

James shook his head mutely, his eyes round.

Sirius went to the window and peered out into the snow-covered yard. Remus had promised to be back by six.

Sure enough, a figure wrapped in a high-collared black cloak was making its way up the long walk.

"It's Remus. James, what am I going to tell him?"

"Should I go? Should I wait upstairs?"

Sirius nodded vigorously. "Go! I don't want to give him the shock you gave me."

James disappeared just as Remus came up the front steps.

Sirius pulled open the door before he could knock.

"Sirius," Remus said immediately, "don't tell me you stayed up all night? You look like hell."

Sirius could only step back and watch Remus shake snow off his cloak and kick off his boots. His throat had gone as dry as a desert.

"Is something wrong?" Remus asked as they entered the sitting room. "Where's Harry?"

"Gone. At Malfoy's," Sirius managed to choke out.

Remus studied him. "You should have called me. You shouldn't have stayed here alone."

"I --"

At that moment, a tremendous crash came from upstairs, followed by a long string of swears and finally, "Sirius! There's a hippogriff in the bathroom!"

Sirius covered his eyes with his hand and groaned.

"Who's that, Sirius?" Remus asked, arching an eyebrow. "What have you been up to?"

Sirius sighed deeply, took his friend by the shoulders, and pushed him into an armchair. "I hope Snape makes decent coffee, Remus."

Remus' frown deepened. "Sirius, what's going on? Your hands are shaking."

Sirius only then realized how tightly he had been grasping Remus' shoulders, and let him go. "You're not going to believe what happened tonight."

Remus stayed silent, waiting.

"James."

"James what?"

"James came here. Alive."

Remus was out of his chair before the words were fully out of Sirius' mouth. His wand in his hand, he pushed Sirius aside, facing the stairs.

"Remus -- wait!" Sirius cried, trying to grab his arm. "It's really him! I asked him every question I could think of, and he got everything right!"

Remus turned slowly toward him, disbelief and horror in his expression slowly turning to anger. "James is dead, Sirius. Whoever that is, it isn't James. There are spells, potions, and any number of ways someone could assume his identity."

"But --"

"What if James had a pensieve? Someone could have all his memories right inside his head now. What is he's a Legilemens? He could have read the answers right out of YOUR head."

Sirius fell back, his grasp on Remus' arm weakening. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Obviously." Remus turned back toward the stairs. "Is he armed?"

Sirius fished James' wand out of his pocket. "I took this from him. Look -- it's James' wand."

"Right," Remus said, his expression darkening. "Which means he would still have his own."

"Look, Remus, wait a minute --" Sirius tried to grab Remus' arm again as Remus started for the staircase.

Remus jerked his sleeve out of Sirius' hand. "I can't believe you let someone in! What if Harry hadn't been out?"

Sirius shook his head slowly. "I just..."

"You didn't think. As usual." Remus' lips thinned, and his grip on his wand tightened. "Can't do anything about that now. Lets just deal with this."

"Right," Sirius said defeatedly. He drew his own wand and cleared his throat. "Er... James?" he called. "Would you --"

They both tensed as a figure appeared on the landing.

"I'm coming down. I'm not armed." Slowly, with his hands held out palms-up, James Potter -- or whomever he was -- descended down the stairs. "I understand your --"

"Don't say another word unless I tell you to speak. Get on your knees. Hands on top of your head."

"Remus," Sirius protested softly, but James had already followed Remus' instructions.

"Check for portkeys, Sirius," Remus told him. "Don't touch him or anything on him."

Sirius sighed and did as he was told. The spell was complicated, and Remus made him cast it twice, as if doubting his ability to do it properly.

"He isn't armed," Remus said after casting his own spells. "Now we will find out who he really is."

"Right," Sirius said. "Er... how?"

"Certainly not by your method," Remus said darkly. "Lets try a Disillusionment Charm to start with."

The spell, however, revealed nothing.

"Could be a Protean Charm. I'm going to need your help with this one."

They cast the spell together.

"Not that either," Remus said, his lips pursed. "I'm going to try the Homorphus."

"Isn't that for werewolves?"

"No. Any human or part-human capable of changing shape will be forced to assume his human form."

Deep down, Sirius felt hope stirring when the charm failed to produce results. He stole a glance at Remus.

Remus didn't look at all ready to give up. "_Finite Incantatum!_"

Nothing happened. He walked around the man and pointed his wand at the back of his head. "_Finite Incantatum!_" Again, nothing. "_Deletrius!_"

"Deletrius?" Sirius asked. "Isn't that only --"

"I know what I'm doing, Sirius!"

Sirius sniffed, but retreated a few steps to give Remus more room.

"_Aparecium!_"

"Don't you have anything more powerful than that?"

Remus scowled at him. "I'm going through them in order."

"What about his Animagus form?"

Remus shook his head. "I don't want to have him transform, yet. Who knows what his Animagus form is, if he has one?"

"So bind him with something first."

Remus seemed to consider this for a moment, but shook his head again. "I can't think of any bind that will stay through the shift. All right. You --" he addressed the man, his tone instantly ice cold, "transform, then immediately transform back. If you stay in your animal form longer than a count of three, I will stun you. Do not move from where you are standing."

The man made a move as though to rise, and Remus raised his wand threateningly.

"Sorry," the man said, smiling weakly. "Never could do it unless I was standing up."

"That's true, Remus," Sirius put in.

"I told you to be quiet, Sirius," Remus hissed at him. "All right. Rise."

The man rose shakily, his hands still up. He shut his eyes, concentrating.

"Remus," Sirius whispered, "you can't fake an Animagus form, can you?"

"I wasn't aware of any way," Remus said, his eyes narrowing as the man transformed back. "But I wouldn't doubt there might be one."

"What can I do to convince you?" the man appealed suddenly. "Is there anything?"

Remus smirked and shook his head. "Asking too much. James Potter is dead. It's just a matter of time before I find the spell that will show you for what you are."

The man's sigh was echoed involuntarily by Sirius.

He didn't know what he believed any more. Remus was right. He had been stupid. The idea of someone possessing James' memories hadn't occurred to him. Even the idea of someone being a shapeshifter -- he had Tonks for a cousin, for Merlin's sake! -- hadn't occurred to him.

Still... Why weren't any of Remus' spells working?

"Remus --"

"Look, Sirius, just let me think!" Remus snapped. "This isn't something we can rush, or --"

"Sirius? Remus? Is everything all right?"

Remus shoved Sirius toward the door. "Keep him out!"

Sirius was too late. The door opened before he could reach it. "Harry, don't come in here!"

"Why? Is something wro--" Harry froze, his eyes riveted on the scene in front of him.

The next moment, he lunged at the man, his fingers curling like claws.

"_Locomotor Mortis! Stupefy!_"

Harry stumbled and fell into Sirius' arms, his legs stiff. At the same time, the body of James Potter hit the wall and slid slowly down to the floor.

"What the hell did you stun him for, Remus?" Sirius demanded when he had wrestled Harry's wand away. "He hadn't moved!"

"I panicked!" Remus yelled. "All right? Just -- GET HIM OUT OF HERE!"

Sirius stood Harry up and removed the leg-lock hex. "Harry. Don't do that again."

Harry was glaring murderously at all three of them. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on! And give me back my wand!" He tried to grab it, but Sirius kept it out of his reach.

"We don't know, Harry," Remus said, his voice returning to normal. He kneeled down by the unconscious man. "We're trying to find out."

"What would someone be doing walking around pretending to be my dad?"

"We. Don't. Know." Remus repeated.

There was a long silence.

"Harry, why don't you --" Sirius began.

"No."

"Will you at least sit down?" Remus asked. "There's a lot I need to do, and I can't if I have to watch all of you."

Harry sat down on the edge of a chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

Remus looked from Sirius to the body of James. "We can't waste any more time. I'm going to need Veritaserum and a skilled Legilemens."

"So get Snape," Harry said irritably.

"Wait a minute!" Sirius protested. "He's going to take one look and..." He gestured helplessly. "Remus, think about it!"

Remus said nothing. He walked very deliberately over to the fireplace and threw in a handful of floo powder. His head vanished into the flames, while Harry and Sirius watched, unable to hear the conversation, though they could see Remus' mouth moving.

"Well?" Sirius asked when Remus straightened up, brushing off his robes.

"It will take him some time to locate some."

"Some Potions master," Sirius grumbled.

Remus glared at him. "You know the Ministry's needed every drop they could get their hands on. You can't make Veritaserum on the spot!"

Sirius put up his hands in mock surrender. "Sorry."

Remus opened his mouth to retort, but at that moment the floo activated and Snape stepped out of the fireplace.

"You have the intruder under control, Lupin?" He turned his dark eyes on Sirius. "How typical Black would let someone waltz right in the one night we left him in charge of the place."

Sirius balled his fists, but Remus cut him off before he could say anything.

"Look, Severus, we need to find out who this person is. I've come up with nothing. I was hoping you could get into his mind and find out more. Did you find some truth serum?"

"I have it," Snape said, producing a vial containing a small amount of liquid.

"Good. Lets wake him up, then."

For the first time, Snape's eyes fell on the prone form on the floor. His eyes bulged until Sirius thought they might pop right out of his head.

"Yes," Remus said darkly. "James Potter. Give me a hand, Severus."

Muttering something Sirius could not discern, Snape moved to Remus' side.

"Enervate!" Remus said, while Snape stood with his wand out, pointed straight at the man's chest.

The man's eyes fluttered open confusedly. "Remus...?" He saw Snape, and paled visibly.

"Hold his head up," Snape commanded. He flicked his wand. "_Legilemens!_"

The man's head jerked, but Remus had a firm grip.

Sirius watched. A vein was throbbing on Snape's temple. Beads of sweat were beginning to gather on his forehead. The minutes ticked by. Finally, Snape broke his concentration, wincing as he tore his eyes away.

"Well?" Remus asked.

Snape scowled. "I didn't see anything conclusive."

"What does that mean?"

"Potter's memories are inside him," Snape said, massaging his temples with his fingertips. "He is not under Imperius. He either believes he is Potter, or he is skilled enough in Occlumency to fool me."

"How likely is that?" Harry piped up. "I mean..."

Snape shook his head and brandished the vial of Veritaserum. "Lets find out."

Three drops of the liquid, and the man's eyes glazed over.

"Is there any way to lie under Veritaserum?" Remus asked, peering closer at the slack face.

"No."

"What if he believes he is telling the truth? What if his memories were altered?"

"Then the only way to prove otherwise will be to break the spell being used to assume Potter's form."

"I already tried --"

"I believe I know a few spells you might be unaware of. Now, stop wasting time. You have less than five minutes. I don't have enough for another full dose."

Remus cleared his throat and addressed the man. "Are you James Potter?"

"Yes."

"Were you born on the third of April, 1960?"

"Yes."

"Did you attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?"

"Yes."

"Your House?"

"Gryffindor."

"Do you serve Voldemort?"

"No."

"Have you ever served Voldemort?"

"No."

"Do you intend to harm Harry Potter, Sirius Black, or any member of the Order of the Phoenix?"

"No."

Remus looked up at Snape, then Sirius, shrugging helplessly.

"Let me," Snape said, stepping closer. "Have you ever used the Transmogrifian Torture?"

"No."

"Have you ever used the Cruciatus Curse?"

"No."

"Have you ever used the Killing Curse?"

"Yes."

Snape startled, his eyes narrowing. "When did you use the Killing Curse?"

"On the thirty-first of October, 1981."

"Against whom?"

"Voldemort."

"He told me that earlier!" Sirius exclaimed. "He said it hadn't had an affect."

Snape looked disappointed and stood up. "Unless either of you can think of anything else..."

"I have something I wanna ask him."

"You stay right there, Harry," Remus warned. "Sirius, watch him."

"How can you be alive?" Harry asked, raising his voice.

"I don't know."

"Why are you here?"

"This is the home of my friend, Sirius Black."

"Are you here to kill Sirius?"

"No."

"Look," Remus interrupted, "this isn't getting anywhere. He obviously believes what he's saying."

"Or he's telling the truth," Sirius said softly.

Snape's eyes narrowed dangerously. "What did you say, Black?"

"I said," Sirius said, meeting the glare defiantly, "maybe he's telling the truth."

Snape turned to Remus. "I hope you have more sense, Lupin."

Remus looked down at the man, still on the floor. "What next, Severus?"

Snape gave him a dark look, but Remus seemed to be avoiding meeting his eyes. "I will try the spells I know. If that fails, we will need a professional curse breaker. There are spells that haven't seen use for thousands of years, and I am not prepared to deal with them."

Remus nodded. "Castor is working at Gringotts. We might be able to get him out here. Bill thought very highly of him."

Sirius sat down in the armchair and watched while Snape performed several complicated incantations, and Remus stood back, wand held ready.

Part of him didn't want to believe what was happening. Just a few hours previously he had been so sure... Now he just didn't know.

What would it take for Remus and Snape to be satisfied this was not a trick or another Death Eater plot? If there were thousands of years' worth of spells to check, then how would anyone ever be sure they hadn't missed something?

Snape lowered his wand and turned away, looking disgusted. "That's the last of them. There's nothing more I can do, Lupin. I suggest you stun him, bind him, and throw him in the containment chamber."

"Wait a minute!" Sirius protested. "Can you both just consider for one second --"

"What?" Snape snarled. "That you dead lover is back? Grow up, Black!"

There was a stunned sort of silence. Sirius saw Harry's mouth drop open, his eyes growing impossibly large.

Remus cleared his throat. "I certainly will consider the possibility, Sirius. Just not until I have exhausted every other reasonable explanation."

"I think you have exhausted them," Sirius said. "Think about it, Remus. So, someone uses a thousand year old spell to wipe out some bloke's memories and make him think he's James. For what? If he'd been programmed to carry out some mission, then why doesn't he have any awareness of it? Why would anyone bother to create him, if he isn't aware of what he's supposed to do?"

Snape smirked. "It shows how little you understand, Black. Inserting an operative into the Order --" His eyes fell on Harry and he smirked again, "-- is exactly what Voldemort's supporters have been after all through the war. With one word, the spell he's under can be dismissed."

"Severus..."

Snape turned to look at Remus, who was biting his lip and frowning. "What is it?"

"Do you have enough truth serum to make him answer just a few more questions?"

Snape took out the vial and held it up to the light. "I believe this is enough for another minute."

"Give it to him."

"What are you thinking, Remus?" Sirius asked, moving closer.

Remus waved him off impatiently. "Got it, Severus?"

"Go ahead."

Remus kneeled down in front of the man. "Are you currently using magic to influence your physical appearance or the perception of those around you?"

"No."

"Are you capable of influencing your physical appearance?"

"Yes. I am an Animagus. My Animagus form is a stag."

"Other than that, can you influence your appearance?"

"No."

"Are you aware of any form of magic that you are capable of using to influence your appearance?"

"An illusion."

"Are you using any such charm now?"

"N-No..." The man blinked, his eyes beginning to focus.

"You can't trust that last answer, Lupin," Snape said. "He was not fully under."

"It doesn't matter, Severus," Remus said, not looking up at him. "I got all the answers I need."

Snape stared at him in clear disbelief, while Sirius rose out of his seat without realizing he had done it.

Remus looked up. "It isn't possible for someone to change another person's appearance without tapping into their own magic. We can change a Muggle into a toad, but the magic wears off as soon as the caster stops projecting his will on the subject. We can, however, permanently change a witch or wizard, using their own magic to hold the spell in place. However, it is impossible for a witch or wizard to be using magic without intending to... even if that intent is forced on them by another."

"That's not true!" Harry exclaimed. "I used magic many times without being aware of it, before I knew I was a wizard!"

"Not the same thing," Remus said. "All magic is directed through intent. A Muggle can have intent, but not the magic to project it. A wizard will project his intent, regardless of whether he is aware of his power to do so. You can't have intent without consciousness. And if there's consciousness, then both Legilemens and Veritaserum should have given us access to it." He looked at Snape. "Severus? What do you think?"

Snape rubbed the bridge of his nose and frowned, looking down at the prone form on the floor. "I... want to tell you you're wrong. Lupin, don't fall for this."

"But you can't!" Sirius said triumphantly, looking from Snape to Remus and back. "You can't tell him he's wrong!"

Snape's lips thinned. "No."

Remus shut his eyes, breathing raggedly.

"Do you think I can get up now?"

No one moved, except Sirius. "Let him up, Remus." He offered James his hand and pulled him to his feet. "Are you all right?"

"Fine," James said, rubbing the back of his head. "I think."

Snape sniffed deprecatingly. "If you don't need me..."

Remus shook his head. "Thank you, Severus. I-I'm sorry."

Snape scowled at him. "Really, Lupin? What for?"

"Don't be like that, I --" Remus reached out his hand, but Snape jerked back as though burned. "Severus..."

Without another word, Snape stalked to the fireplace, threw in a handful of floo powder, and vanished in a column of green smoke.

After a long moment of silence, James cleared his throat. "When I heard you were seeing him, Remus --"

"Can it, James!" Remus snapped. "You don't know anything about it!"

Sirius felt James stiffen. "Hey, Remus, it isn't his fault."

Remus closed his eyes and shook his head. "I know. I'm sorry. This hasn't been a very pleasant morning, has it?"

"Well, let me see," James said sarcastically. "I find out I'm dead, I nearly get mauled by a hippogriff -- thanks for the warning, by the way, Sirius -- and then Severus Snape suggests I should be -- what was it? -- stunned, bound, and flayed?"

Remus' eyes flashed angrily, and Sirius rushed to intervene. "We're sorry, James. You have to see this from our side. None of us have rested easy in years. Something like this... it's too incredible to believe."

"Wait a minute."

All three of them turned to Harry, who had been so quiet that Sirius had forgotten he was still there.

"Are you saying you believe him? You believe he's James Potter?"

Sirius looked over at Remus, but Remus was staring at the floor again. He cleared his throat. "Yes. I believe he is."

"Remus?"

Remus nodded, his eyes still averted. "Yes."

"So you want me to believe that after sixteen years, he's just... alive? Just like that? And everything I've ever been told has been a lie?"

Before Sirius could think of anything to say, James stepped forward. "Harry, I know this is a lot --"

"No. Just... No." Harry shook his head, his hair whipping across his face. "My parents died when I was a baby. You don't look a year older than me!"

"Five, actually," Remus said quietly.

"What?"

"Five years. That's how much older than you are now your parents were when they died."

"Great. That's just great."

"Can we sit down and talk about this?" James asked. "Maybe have some breakfast?"

Sirius nodded. "Of cour--"

"I've already eaten," Harry cut in through gritted teeth. "I think I'll just go upstairs."

Sirius glanced at Remus, but Remus shook his head gently.

After Harry disappeared up the stairs and the door to his bedroom had shut, the three of them stood in silence for a long time.

"Lets go in the kitchen," Sirius said finally. "I could use some coffee."

The others followed him silently.

The kitchen was gloomy, as usual. It took Sirius several minutes to get the fire started, and he could feel Remus and James watching him the entire time. Though he tried desperately to think of something to say, no adequate words sprang to mind. His hands shook slightly as he prepared a tray.

"Sugar?"

James nodded, while Remus shook his head.

"I can make tea, if you'd prefer, Remus."

Remus shook his head again.

"Well," Sirius said, trying not to sound as desperate as he felt, "how about some sandwiches? Ham and tomato?"

Remus cleared his throat. "I think I better take over."

Sirius stepped away from the stove gladly, and sat down next to James.

"Think I should make enough for Harry?" Remus asked, flipping bacon onto a sizzling skillet.

"No. He probably did eat at Malfoy's. I don't think he'll come down."

"Do you think he'll be all right?" James asked, looking down at the table top. "This must have been a lot to spring on him at once."

"He'll adjust," Sirius said, forcing his voice to be light. "When he found out I was alive, he wouldn't talk to me or Remus for two weeks. He got over it. He'll get over this, too."

James frowned. "What do you mean when he found out you were alive?"

"Oh..." Sirius cringed. "Well, I..."

"He died."

James whipped around to look at Remus, but Remus still had his back to them, and was poking with a long fork at three slices of bread on the grill. "What?"

"Yeah..." Sirius admitted. "When Harry was fifteen. It's a long story, James. Anyway, it shouldn't be as bad this time, because last time he had reason to be angry with us. We couldn't tell him I was back for almost a quarter of the year. I thought he'd never forgive us for that."

"But that's not the case this time," Remus said firmly, putting a platter down on the table in front of them. "This time we're all in this together."

James nodded, but Sirius didn't miss the longing look he cast toward the door.

"He'll come around, James," he said gently, putting his hand over James'. "Really. Trust me. Harry's resilient. He just needs some time."

"Kettle's hot," Remus said, interrupting the moment. "Should I get it?"

"No," Sirius said quickly, rising. "You've done enough. I'll get it."

He poured three cups of coffee. One black, for himself, one with two lumps of sugar, for James, and one...

"How do you want it, Remus? Milk?"

"Plain."

Sirius shot a critical glance at his friend. It was impossible to tell what Remus was really thinking; his expression was carefully set to reveal nothing. "Here we go," he said, setting down the tray and sitting down.

Remus and James accepted their cups with murmured thanks.

The coffee was hot, but Sirius took a big gulp, ignoring the burning in his throat.

They ate in uncomfortable silence.

"I'll clear the table," Remus said, rising, when they finished.

Sirius pulled the tray quickly toward him. "No, I'll do it."

Remus sat down. "So... James. You know, if you're tired, I'm sure we can find a room --"

"No, thank you. I'm not tired."

Remus nodded, and there was silence again.

Sirius finished putting away the dishes and returned to the table. He didn't sit down. "Look. I think we need to talk. This is ridiculous."

Neither of them answered, and Remus looked away.

Sirius rubbed his eyes and sighed. "All right. I have something I want to say." He turned to James. "James... I wish I had words to express myself, but..." He glanced at Remus, who had finally looked up at him. "Remus is the one who's good with words. All I can say is... I'm so glad you're here." He shrugged lamely. "That's about as inadequate as statements come."

James smiled. "Coming from you? I'll take it."

"I'm sorry I stunned you," Remus said quietly.

"Aw, Remus..." James reached for Remus' hand. "You couldn't know. I'm glad Harry has someone looking out for him like that."

Remus gave him a weak smile. "Still friends, then?"

"Of course," James said, grinning widely. "And I'm sorry if I came off judgemental. If you're happy, that's all that matters to me. I won't say another word."

Remus smiled, but when James turned away Sirius thought he saw a pained look cross Remus' face.

"So what should we do now?" he asked to fill the silence. "Should we contact anyone? Tell them what happened?"

"I don't think I'm up for it, honestly," James said, groaning exaggeratedly. "Can we just do whatever you had planned? It is Christmas, after all."

Sirius startled. He had almost forgotten what day it was. "It is, isn't it? We were going to open presents..."

"That can wait," Remus said quickly. "We can --"

A door slammed somewhere above, cutting Remus off. They heard someone run down the staircase, apparently taking it two steps at a time.

"I'll get this," Sirius said before the others could react.

Harry was waiting in the entrance hall, his arms crossed tightly over his chest, already in his coat and boots.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Out. Ron and Ginny invited me weeks ago, and I told them I was spending Christmas with you and Remus." He pursed his lips and raised his chin defiantly. "I changed my mind."

"Harry..."

Harry turned away, reaching for the doorknob.

"Harry, wait! We aren't ready for the whole world to know. It will ruin everyone's Christmas and make them worry unnecessarily."

Harry's paused, but he didn't turn around. "I won't tell. I'm not up for being thought mad today."

Sirius reached for his shoulder, but Harry pushed the door open and stepped out. "At least call when you get there."

"I will."

"I'll see you."

Harry waved once over his shoulder. Sirius watched until he had made it down the path and Disapparated. He shut the door and leaned against it, rubbing his forehead.

"I guess it's just you and me."

Sirius looked up, startled. "What do you mean?"

"I told Remus to go."

Sirius stared at him.

"It wasn't fair to make him stay."

Sirius understood. "He went after Snape, didn't he?"

James nodded.

"I guess it is just you and me, then." Sirius couldn't keep back a sly smile. "What shall we do, do you think?"

"How about we just talk? I'd like to find out more about what I've missed."

"Of course."

Sirius led James into the front room, where a cheery fire was still burning in the fireplace. The light of day made the room less gloomy. They sat down, James taking the armchair closest to the fire, while Sirius perched on a footstool.

James' gaze wandered over the pile of presents. "All that for three people?"

Sirius smirked. "Three? Most are for Harry. See that one...?" He pointed at a long, slim package. "The newest racing broom."

James' eyes lit up. "He plays Quidditch?"

"Sure does! He made Gryffindor's team in his very first year, as Seeker. He's captain now."

James' smile was slightly wistful. "Wish I'd been there to coach him. I suppose he flies better than I did?"

"Yeah, I'd say so. You know, Quidditch season's practically just starting. You'll be able to make all his games. See him in action. Maybe even give him a few pointers. Strategy's changed some since we were in school, and I can't say it's for the better. Although... Slytherin's still going the 'bigger is better' route, so I suppose things haven't changed all that much."

That drew an actual laugh. Sirius felt he could look at James for hours and not get bored. This was the old James, just as he'd known him, not changed at all by the years that had gone by.

"What is it?" James asked softly, looking at him quizzically. "You had the oddest look on your face just now."

"Nothing. I..." Sirius let out an involuntary sigh. "I was just thinking about how incredible it is, to be sitting here with you, on Christmas Day... Do you remember our last Christmas together?"

"How could I forget? Father and mum were gone, and we had the whole house to ourselves. It's amazing we didn't burn it down."

"'Twas brilliant though. I wish we had some of those candles right now. Might brighten this place up a bit."

James looked around again, his brow furrowing. "I meant to ask you. What happened to your family, Sirius?"

"All dead. I wouldn't be living here except my pardon is a bit slow in coming -- Say! I wonder if things would speed up if you showed up, alive and well, at the new Minister's office?"

"I think it's more likely they'd arrest one or both of us."

"Necromancy?"

"Lunacy," James said with a perfectly straight face, before breaking into a laugh.

"Very funny," Sirius grumbled. "You have no idea how slowly things have been moving. I couldn't even help pick out our new house. I wish I could say I trust fully in Remus' judgement, but..." He let his voice trail off pointedly, and watched James smirk in understanding.

Somehow, they lapsed into a long silence, James staring at the tree again and Sirius studying the carpet. Sirius wished James would say something -- anything -- because he couldn't stand it any longer; sitting so close to him and not being able to find one adequate word.

He looked up and caught James in a yawn. "Are you tired?"

"A little."

"Well, we did stay up all night, didn't we? Come on, I'll find you a room."

He led James upstairs, wondering all the while where he was going to put him. There were only three rooms still in use, his own, Remus', and Harry's...

"I suppose you should take Remus' room."

James didn't reply, and when Sirius glanced back he saw James looking at him with a small smile and raised eyebrow.

"What?"

"Aren't you going to offer me your room?"

"I was going to try to get some sleep -- Oh!"

James' smile widened into his old mischievous grin. "Think I'd keep you up, do you?"

Sirius started to grin back, but caught himself, Remus' admonition echoing through his mind. Would Remus tell him to think before acting?

"I... don't know if that's such a good idea, James. Remus or Harry could come back."

"So?" James demanded. "Thanks to Snape's big mouth Harry already knows. And Remus is hardly one to talk." He grabbed Sirius by the hand and pulled him toward the bedroom. "Come on. What's the harm?"

Sirius allowed himself to be pulled into the room, ignoring Remus' insistent voice inside his head. Remus was always worrying about one thing or another.

"Nice," James said, looking around. His eyes stopped on the large canopy bed. "Don't tell me you've been sleeping all by yourself in such a big bed?"

Before Sirius could even open his mouth, James was stripping off his robes, treating him to a view of smooth, pale skin. He bit back a moan. How many nights had that vision haunted his dreams?

He pushed the door shut, turned down the lights, undressed, and got into bed next to James, feeling oddly out of place and nervous. He pulled the covers up to his neck.

"Something the matter?"

Sirius shook his head. "No." He turned over onto his side, away from James. "Good night."

"Not exactly night," James muttered. "Fine. Good night."

Sirius waited until James had stopped moving, apparently having also turned away, toward the wall. Then, all was still. He shut his eyes and wished he wasn't suddenly so keenly awake. He could feel James' every breath through the mattress. He thought he could feel the heat of the body next to his, so close but not touching. He didn't know how he was supposed to sleep, knowing James was just on the other side of the bed. Everything in him wanted to turn around just to make sure James really was there, and hadn't vanished as suddenly as he had appeared the previous night.

He must have fallen asleep after all, because he came awake with a start, his heart beating fast in his chest and his hand reaching automatically for the bedside table where he had laid his wand.

"I'm sorry I woke you."

Sirius relaxed, falling back against the pillow. "What are you doing up?"

James shrugged. He was standing by the window, his back to Sirius.

"Anything interesting out there?"

James sighed and pulled the drapes shut. "No."

Sirius yawned and reached for the small Muggle clock on the bedside table. "It's nearly six. I can't believe we slept all day." He sat up, pushing aside the covers and swinging his legs out of bed. He found his robes crumpled on the floor and pulled them on. "Hey James, what do you think we -- James?"

He crossed the room, laying his hand on James' shoulder and forcing the other man to look at him. "You're crying..."

James wiped roughly at his eyes. "No."

"Yes you are," Sirius insisted. "What's wrong?"

Instead of answering, James looked down at the floor and refused to meet Sirius' eyes. Sirius pulled him over to the bed, and James let him, sinking down limply next to him.

"What is it?"

James still wouldn't look at him. "Nothing. I just..." He stopped and sighed heavily. "I woke up and... Oh God..." He covered his face with his hands, turning away from Sirius, who tried to wrap his arms around his shoulders.

"What is it, James? Talk to me." Sirius shook James gently, still trying to turn him around so he could look into his face. "You're scaring me."

"It's... Lily... and Harry... Albus..." He jerked out of Sirius grasp. "You."

Sirius pulled back involuntarily, James' bitter words feeling like a punch in the stomach.

James wiped his face with his sleeve and sniffed miserably. "Harry was right. Look at me. Just look at me. This isn't right. This is all wrong and I --"

"Stop it!" Sirius grabbed his hand and clutched it to his chest. "Stop saying that! We've already been over this. You're here. You're alive. How can that be wrong?"

"Look at me, Sirius! Look! Harry was right! I can't be his father. He doesn't even need a father anymore! And you and Remus, you don't need this!"

"I need you!" Sirius yelled, shaking him harder than he intended. Frightened by his own anger, he let James go. "I need you," he repeated. "Harry needs you, too. He's still just a kid. He's never had a real family. We can give him that, together."

James looked away, his lips thinning. "So far all I've managed to do is drive him away."

"That's just how Harry deals with things, James. It drives me mad, too. Be patient with him and he will come around, I promise you. Look at me --"

James looked up, his mouth still set stubbornly.

"Everything will work out. We're all in shock. Remus will work things out with Snape. Harry will do what Harry does best and adjust. It will all work out."

James sniffed. "I look at you, and I don't know how it can. When I was talking to Remus, I felt like a student squirming in front of a professor. You're older. You've changed. How can things ever be the same?"

Sirius was silent for a long moment. "They can't," he finally admitted, shrugging. "That doesn't mean anything. Things change. It's part of life. We deal. We make the best of it." He tipped James' chin up, forcing him to look into his eyes. "We try to make it better."

"Merlin, you sound like Albus," James said, laughing shakily. "I can't believe it. Sirius Black, I think you really have grown up at last!"

Sirius tried to look annoyed, but a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He pulled James down on the bed, pouncing on him and pinning him down. "Have I really?"

"I could be wrong," James said, and before Sirius could grin triumphantly, he raised his head and covered Sirius' mouth with his own.

"Mmm," Sirius moaned as James' soft lips crushed his. He had forgotten just how sweet James tasted...

"James? Sirius?" The door opened, startling the pair on the bed. They sprang apart, but not fast enough. "Where are -- Oh, God, sorry!"

Remus shut the door quickly, looking flustered, but not before they had glimpsed Harry's shocked face behind him.

James groaned and slumped back on the bed, covering his eyes with his hands.

"We always did have terrible timing," Sirius muttered.

"Bugger..."

Sirius gave him a pained look. "Not until I get a proper lock on the door."

James swatted at him. "Idiot. This isn't amusing!"

"You're the one who insisted on sleeping here."

James sighed and sat up. "Now what?"

Sirius cringed, but forced himself to get up, squaring his shoulders. "Now we go and straighten this mess out."

He led the way downstairs, not letting himself look back at James because he knew apprehension showed plainly on his face, and the last thing James needed was to know Sirius was quaking inside.

Remus and Harry were in the front room. From the way they sat at opposite ends of the room, Harry with his arms crossed and his back rigid, Sirius knew whatever Remus had tried to say to him hadn't had much effect. As soon as they walked in, Harry fixed him with a glare.

There was only one vacant chair in the room, and Sirius motioned James to take it, while he himself remained standing next to it.

He glanced hopefully in Remus' direction. Remus was usually the one who knew how to handle situations like this.

Remus crossed his arms over his chest and stared back. No help there.

"Right," Sirius said, clearing his throat. "Uh..."

"I just want to know where in bloody hell this is coming from," Harry said, hugging himself tighter and glaring even harder at Sirius. "I thought we agreed there weren't going to be any more surprises. You promised you'd be honest with me. And now this."

The venom in Harry's voice cut Sirius like a knife. "I'm sorry. I thought telling you something like this would only hurt you."

Harry seemed to ignore him. His eyes had locked on James. "You have everyone convinced you're really James Potter." Harry's lips thinned and an angry flush appeared on his cheeks. "So. Tell me. What about my mother?"

Only someone who knew James as well as Sirius did could have seen the almost imperceptible shudder that ran through his body. "I loved your mother, Harry. She was very important to me. I had planned on spending the rest of my life with her."

"What about him?" Harry spat, jerking his head toward Sirius. "What was that about?"

James sighed. "You can care for more than one person, Harry. I loved him, too. Back then, spending my life with him wasn't an option. If it had been, then maybe I would have made a different choice." He stole a look at Sirius, and Sirius smiled in what he hoped was an encouraging way. "But then there wouldn't have been you. I don't regret anything. I just wish things had turned out differently. Sirius told me a little about your life, and I'm sorry it wasn't easier for you."

Harry turned to Remus. "You knew about this."

Remus nodded. "I knew they had been together in our school years. It ended when James married Lily, and I thought --" He glanced at Sirius, and this time Sirius couldn't manage a smile. "I don't know what I thought." He shook his head. "I thought it had been experimentation. Merlin knows there was enough of that going on at Hogwarts."

"We kept our relationship as secret as we could under the circumstances," Sirius added. "Neither of our families would have reacted kindly. In fact, that was one of the reasons I left home."

"And went home with him!" Harry exclaimed, looking disgusted.

"Good God, Harry," Sirius scoffed. "You're not one to talk! At least he was my friend. Look whose bed you're warming."

Harry's mouth fell open, and Sirius waited for the explosion.

Instead, it was Remus' soft voice that broke the tense moment. "That wasn't fair, Sirius. We agreed --"

"It works both ways, Remus," Sirius cut in. "Either he respects everyone else's choices, or his own are open to the same scorn. It's a selfish attitude to hold, to think your feelings are more righteous than those of others, and I'm more than ready for him to grow out of it."

Harry continued to look rebellious, but he stayed silent.

"I know this was a shock," Sirius continued after a moment. "It was one for me too, believe me. We all have to adjust to this huge change. Together." He looked for support from Remus and James, who both nodded. "Can you try to see this my way?"

"Maybe you're asking too much," Harry said stubbornly. "Well, I'm tired! I'm tired of things changing all the time! Every time I get used to something, it changes on me. I never know where I stand from one day to the next. I'm always trying to catch up."

Sirius looked helplessly at Remus, who only shook his head to show he had no words of wisdom to share. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked Harry tentatively.

"No," Harry said, pressing his lips together and glaring at him.

There was an awkward silence.

"It's just that I was finally getting used to the idea of it being just the two of us," Harry said suddenly. "I kept thinking it had to be some sort of joke, and you and Remus would get back to your senses and we'd have this perfect family." His face twisted angrily. "Just when I finally accepted that he's chosen Snape over you, suddenly I don't have you, either."

"You do have me, Harry," Sirius said. "You'll always have me. And Remus. He's not choosing Snape over us. He's still part of our family."

"Sirius and I were never more than friends, Harry," Remus added. "I'm sorry you hoped for that to happen. There was never a possibility --"

"I get it," Harry muttered. "You don't have to tell me twice."

"You still have both of us," Sirius said again firmly.

"Not all to myself," Harry said, looking angrier than ever. "That's the only good thing I could come up with, after I knew Snape was going to mess things up like that."

"Snape hasn't messed anything up," Sirius said, hoping he sounded more convinced of it than he actually felt. "Remus is happy, and that's what's important."

"He isn't happy," Harry said, smirking. "Ask him. Go ahead."

Sirius turned to look at Remus, who dropped his gaze instead of meeting his eyes. "Remus? What does he mean?"

Remus shook his head.

"Some family," Harry said, sniffing vindictively. "Even Snape knows how things are around here."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Will somebody tell me what happened?" He looked from Harry to Remus. "Remus? What happened with Snape?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably.

"Oh, for the love of..." Sirius shook his head incredulously. "Did that git lock you out of the floo again?"

Remus nodded, still looking at the floor.

"Am I going to have to go over there and knock some sense into him again?"

Remus shook his head vehemently. "No! I'll take care of this myself!"

"See?" Harry taunted. "Some happy family. I wouldn't dream of bringing Draco here. I know exactly how you feel about him! And you expect me to just accept -- this! --" He waved his hand to encompass James and Sirius -- "like it's nothing!"

"Now just hold it!" Sirius yelled, seeing Remus and Harry were ready to battle it out.

There was dead silence.

"Harry, I never said you couldn't bring Draco here. In fact, bring him! Maybe I'll find out what you see in him. The last time I saw the little snot, he was throwing a Prurigo hex at your back."

"There!" Harry yelled. "You see?" He turned to Remus, looking furious. "This is exactly what I mean!"

"Sirius," Remus said, "that wasn't a very kind thing to say."

Sirius snorted.

"Well," James spoke up suddenly, "I, for one, would like to meet this Draco that's stolen your heart, Harry."

Harry raised his chin defiantly. "His father will probably want to meet you."

James looked uncertain, his eyes darting to Sirius. "That's Lucius Malfoy, right?"

Sirius nodded, managing to contain a disgusted sneer because Remus was looking daggers at him.

"We've met, actually," James said dryly. "Did Lucius change sides since the first war?"

"More like he bribed and threatened his way out of what he had coming," Sirius muttered.

Harry leaped out of his seat, fists clenched and cheeks flaming. "He was spying for the Order! You know that! If it wasn't for him, Snape wouldn't have --"

"Yeah," Sirius said scornfully. "Snape. Snape's word is all we have to prove Lucius switched sides at all, and we all know --"

This time it was Remus who rose out of his chair, looking so angry that Sirius' words froze on his lips.

"Can everyone just calm down?" James asked, stepping between Sirius and Remus and holding up his hands. "Please. We've been at each other's throats for the past half hour, and for what? Can everyone just stop and think for a minute, before any of us say anything else we'll regret?"

Sirius bit his tongue and stepped back. Slowly, Remus and Harry backed off, each returning to their seats silently, and still looking angry.

"Can we hold this conversation until we calm down a bit?" James continued. "I think everyone's nerves are just a little frayed right now."

"Fine," Sirius said. The anger still flashing in Remus' eyes made him nervous.

"Remus?"

Remus nodded.

"Harry?"

Harry folded his arms and pursed his lips. "Fine."

James' eyes searched the room quickly, falling on the pile of presents under the tree. "Why don't we open gifts? I'm sure remembering a bit of Christmas spirit will do all of us some good."

Sirius looked skeptically at the presents. "There's nothing there for you, you know. I wish I had time to run out and get something..."

Remus got up suddenly. "I just remembered. I did get something." He disappeared into the hall, returning with two small packages wrapped in plain brown paper and bright red ribbon. "There. It isn't much..."

"Considering I didn't expect anything? I'm sure they'll do."

Sirius accepted the packages from Remus and placed them under the tree with the rest. When he turned back, he found a scowling Harry standing right behind him.

"Harry?"

Harry held out a thin package. A tag in the corner said TO: JAMES POTTER.

Sirius accepted it silently and placed it under the tree. He hoped Harry hadn't seen him swallow the gigantic lump that had welled up in his throat. By the time he turned around, Harry was back in his chair.

"So, uh... I guess I'll just start passing these out then," Sirius said, twisting his hands nervously as he took in the three grim faces looking at him intently. He cleared his throat and picked up a small red box with a large blue bow. "This one is for Harry."

Harry accepted the gift and ripped it open.

"Who's it from, Harry?" James asked gently.

"Neville Longbottom. He's a friend, in my year."

He took out a small plant, its roots wrapped in gauze. "He says this plant's called Grains of Paradise and it attracts good luck."

"Very thoughtful of Neville," Remus said. "He's well on his way to becoming one hell of a herbologist. I won't be surprised if in a few years he'll replace Sprout at Hogwarts."

"Is old Sprout still teaching?" James asked. "She was getting up in years when we were students."

"Her memory is getting rather bad. Snape says he's --" Remus caught himself, darting a quick glance at Sirius. "Never mind."

"No," James said quickly, "I want to hear it. What does Snape say?"

Sirius pretended to be busy picking out the next gift before Remus could look at him again.

"Just that he's having to grow most of the plants he uses in his potions."

Before the silence could get uncomfortable, Sirius handed Remus a large box. "From me and Harry both."

Remus unwrapped it carefully, folding the paper before opening it. "These are beautiful," he said, holding up a set of dark brown robes. "Thank you."

Sirius smiled, hoping it didn't look forced. Maybe now Remus would stop wearing the ludicrously expensive things Snape bought for him, at least when he was home. He had a feeling Remus felt uncomfortable in them, but had chosen not to say anything in case Remus took it as him having another go at Snape.

"This one's mine," Sirius said, ripping apart the paper and looking at the card inside. "From Harry."

He took out a black leather case. The lock snapped open, revealing a set of brushes of various sizes and a jar of polish. "A broom servicing kit?" he guessed, though he felt slightly surprised that Harry would give him such a thing, when he didn't even own a riding broom.

"Nope, guess again," Harry said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Look in the pocket inside the lid," Remus suggested in a conspiratorial whisper.

Sirius did, and drew out a Muggle-style photograph. "My bike!"

Harry grinned even wider. "It's at our new house."

"But where on earth did you get it?"

"It was at Hogwarts all along. I found it when Ron and I were looking for another room to hold D.A. meetings."

"Incredible..." Sirius couldn't tear his eyes off the bike. He well remembered how it felt to have the powerful machine under him, rumbling through the air...

"Shall I take over handing out the presents?" Remus asked, one eyebrow arching in amusement.

"No, I got it." Reluctantly Sirius put everything back in the box and picked up another package. "Here's one for Harry, from Remus."

Harry unwrapped a thick leather-bound book. "Er..."

"What is it?" Sirius asked curiously.

Harry put the book quickly back in the box. "A book. Thank you, Remus."

Remus smiled. "You're welcome, Harry. Enjoy."

Harry flushed bright red, and Sirius shot Remus an incredulous look, mouthing 'What did you give him?'

Remus just smiled and shrugged innocently. James snickered.

"Corrupting my godson," Sirius muttered under his breath. If Remus had gone behind his back to get the book for Harry, it had to be bad.

"Next!" Harry said, having shoved the book out of sight.

"This one's for you too," Sirius said, handing him the long box containing the broomstick.

Harry grabbed it eagerly. "A new broom?"

Sirius nodded. He was watching James, who was following Harry's every movement.

"Wow," Harry said when the broom lay across his lap. "Just... wow." Before Sirius knew it, Harry had sprung up and had him in a fierce hug.

"You're welcome. Kick Ravenclaw's arse."

"I will," Harry said, running his hands over the shiny handle.

"One for you, James," Sirius said, handing James one of the small parcels Remus had brought.

James took it from him and opened it quickly, revealing a small box of chocolates. He looked up at Remus. "Chocolates, eh? Is our Remus still quite the expert?"

"Oh yes," Remus said, licking his lips suggestively. "I still have impeccable taste."

"In that case, I better leave these for later," James said, slipping the box into his pocket.

Sirius watched the exchange closely. The ease with which Remus and James had slipped back into their old teasing made him hopeful that despite the years that had passed, they might still be as close as they had been.

"Can I have one?" he asked James, leaning close so that Harry, who was still enthralled with his broom, wouldn't hear.

"Only if you're very, very good," James whispered back, his lips brushing Sirius' earlobe.

Remus pretended not to notice.

"One for me... and Harry," Sirius said, fishing another gift out from under the tree. "Want to open this one, Harry?"

"You can open it," Harry said.

It was another book. After a quick glance, Harry's eyes returned to the broom. Sirius, on the other hand, opened the book and turned the pages slowly, not quite believing it.

"Remus? Are you sure?"

"Of course I am. I was going to help, but now I think there's someone with much more experience who will be even better."

Sirius held up the book again. "Harry, look."

Harry looked up, and his expression turned to one of surprise. He looked from Sirius to Remus, and finally -- Sirius' heart skipped a beat -- to James. "Really? You'll teach me to be an Animagus?"

James leaned forward, his eyes sparkling. "We sure will. Are you saying you aren't one yet?"

"Transfiguration isn't his best subject," Remus said, "but I think he might be ready now."

"I thought he was ready ages ago," Sirius told James. "I let Remus have his way because I wasn't sure I remembered all the safety rules..."

"Possibly because we skipped that section," James said, laughing. Then, seeing Remus' frown, he hastened to add, "But we won't this time. Strictly by the book."

Sirius handed the book off to Harry, who finally set aside the broomstick in favor of pouring over the yellowed pages in the slim tome.

"All of these are for Harry, from his many, many admirers," Sirius said, pretending to struggle under an armload of presents.

"I'll open them later, if you don't mind."

"Last few, then," Sirius said, gathering up the last four gifts. "One for me... from Kingsley --" He tucked the gift under his arm -- "One for Remus... from Harry --" He handed it to Remus. "And two for James."

Remus opened his first. "The complete works of Tamsin Blight... first edition... Thank you, Harry."

Sirius had already opened his, and was trying to figure out what it was.

"It's a scrying crystal," Remus told him, obviously taking pity on him. "You meditate on it."

"Er... right." Sirius set it aside and looked expectantly at James.

"A ring?" James said, holding up a small metal band and looking at Remus questioningly.

"You wear it on your thumb," Sirius supplied. "We all have them. If you need to contact one of us you just turn it twice and say the person's name."

Remus nodded. "You can use it to call on me, Sirius, Harry, Severus, Kingsley, Charlie Weasley, and far too many of Harry's young friends than I can name. I wrote down their names for you."

James slipped the ring on. "A perfect fit. Thank you."

Sirius started to smile back at him, but out of the corner of his eyes he saw Harry twisting his hands in his lap, not looking at any of them.

"I think you have one last gift, James," he said softly.

James picked up the small package. "So I do."

The only sound was that of the paper rustling as James carefully unwrapped Harry's present. Sirius held his breath. He wished he had some inkling of what might be inside. All he knew was that it the shape of a book, but much too thin to be one.

The paper came away, revealing a brown envelope. Sirius saw Remus lean closer to get a better look, just as he found himself doing the same thing.

It wasn't sealed. James reached in and drew out a photograph.

It was a Wizard photograph this time, black and white. Sirius had seen many just like it; all of Harry's friends relied on Colin Creevey's talent to capture their special moments for their albums. Harry's album was bulging with photographs of himself and his friends.

He moved closer, needing to see. If Harry had to choose one image to bestow upon the father he hadn't seen in sixteen years, which one did he choose?

Leaning over James' shoulder, he looked down at the photograph.

Harry, no older than eleven or twelve, stood in the Hogwarts trophy room, holding a struggling snitch in his hand. He was waving and grinning, and looked out of breath. Behind him was a glass display case. Inside was the Quidditch Cup with James' name engraved on it.

Harry cleared his throat. "One of my friends took this a long time ago, and another of my friends had kept it in her album. I thought you might like to have it." Harry seemed to draw a big breath. He looked down at the floor. "And... I'd love to have you at my Quidditch games."

There was absolute silence in the room when Harry finished. James sat as motionless as if petrified.

He's going to cry, Sirius thought as he put his hands firmly on James' shoulders. Hell, I might cry myself.

Neither of them did. James cleared his throat and smiled. "Thank you, Harry. This means more than you can ever know." One of his hands reached up to pat Sirius', and Sirius gave him another encouraging squeeze.

"Yeah, well..." Harry looked at Remus uncertainly. "Are we still going to have Christmas dinner together?"

"Of course," Remus said. He got up. "In fact, I think it's about time we did. It will take just a moment to warm everything up, but I could use some help setting the table. Harry?"

Harry followed him, pausing in the doorway to give Sirius a small wave and James a shy smile.

"You see?" Sirius said when the kitchen door had shut. "Harry's come right around, just like I told you he would."

James was still looking at the photograph, as if unwilling to tear his eyes away. "He's incredible."

Sirius left his side and approached the chair Harry had occupied. He picked up the book Harry had attempted to hide between the cushions. "What was Remus thinking!"

James looked up, and a moment later he appeared by Sirius' side. "I think he was thinking Harry's young and limber enough to actually manage some of these positions."

Sirius turned to look at him, scandalized. "James!"

James smiled sweetly and reached out to flip the pages. "Did that," he said, pointing. "And that. Ooh, that one's interesting -- do you want to try?"

Sirius managed to will his lower jaw to snap shut, but it was a tremendous effort.

"Don't be a prude, Sirius," James teased, taking the book from him.

"I'm not," Sirius protested. "I just don't think this is appropriate reading material for someone who's only seventeen."

"I seem to recall a number of magazines in a recess under a loose floorboard..."

Sirius threw up his hands in surrender.

James set the book down on the chair. "Some Christmas, eh?"

"Some Christmas," Sirius echoed, smiling weakly.

"Not too bad, in all."

"No, not too bad."

They looked at each other, and Sirius could see his own face reflected in James' eyes. For that moment, it was just the two of them alone in the world.

Then James looked away, clearing his throat and looking toward closed kitchen door. "Do you think Remus is all right?"

Disappointed, Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes. "Sure he is. Snape did the very same thing when he found out I wasn't quite as dead as rumored. I went over there and had a nice little chat with him... think I made it worse. But Remus stuck it out and they were all right."

One of James' eyebrows went up. "I'm having a hard time picturing you going to Snape for a little heart to heart."

"I didn't. I went over there to make good on my threat to kill him if he ever hurt Remus."

James stifled a laugh. "Now that I can see."

They stood in silence for a moment.

"It's going to be all right, you know," Sirius said. "Everything. We're going to work it out. No more scenes like today."

James looked up, meeting his eyes and searching them for the longest time, his expression somber. Then he smiled. "I know. We'll do it together."

  
**END**


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